Lesson #20: Goodbyes Aren't the End

As this year draws to a close, I've been thinking a lot about what it's going to be like to say goodbye to State College for the summer. I go back and fourth between being excited to see my family and friends from home and sad to leave the friends that I have made here. Although we'll be back at school next August, the end of this year is a pretty significant goodbye. I feel like I've learned so much from this first year of college and the experiences that I've had here have definitely helped me to grow as a person. As I'm sitting here, writing the last post I'll ever write for this blog, it's really hitting me how close we are to saying goodbye. But this goodbye isn't the end for us; it's the beginning of the rest of our college careers and the adventures of adulthood that we have in front of us.

So of course, to illustrate my point that goodbyes aren't really the end, I'm going to talk about the series finale of Friends.

The last episode was a whirlwind of emotions, but it provided some much needed closure to an iconic television series. For example, it's in this last episode that we finally find out what happens with Ross and Rachel. 

So far in their relationship, Ross and Rachel have been together, broken up, gotten married in Las Vegas, and had a daughter named Emma. In the last episode, Rachel has already said her goodbyes to everyone as she is moving to Paris for her job. After she leaves for the airport to catch her flight, Ross realizes that he can't let her leave without telling her how he feels. Phoebe offers to drive him to the airport and the two race off to catch Rachel before she gets of the plane.

After a turn of events (involving going to the wrong airport and a damaged left phalange) they catch Rachel right as she's about to board, but when Ross asks her to stay with him, she tells him she can't and boards the plane. Later, when Ross gets home, he sees that he has a message from Rachel on his answering machine. She tells him that she loves him and decides that she wants to get off the plane, but the message cuts out in the middle of a fight between her and the flight attendant as she's trying to get off. Ross is left asking himself, "Did she get off the plane?" when the door opens.

The episode ends with the gang back together in Monica's now-empty apartment, as Monica and Chandler are moving to the suburbs to raise their two newborn babies. The friends cherish their last few moments together before saying goodbye, and Phoebe remarks that all six friends have lived in the apartment at one time or another. Ross claims that he hadn't, but Monica reminds him of the summer in college that he stayed there and "tried to make it as a dancer." Rachel asks if Monica and Chanler have some time before they have to go to their new house, and asks if they want to get coffee. Chandler replies with the infamous last line, "Where?" and the gang makes their way out of the apartment.

Even though the friends had to say goodbye to each other, it wasn't the end of their friendship by any means, it was the beginning of a new chapter of their lives. Goodbyes can be really hard, but sometimes things have to end in order for something even better to begin.

Media courtesy of (in order of appearance):

• A Story in Your Head
• Her.ie
• NBC via Netflix
• Rebloggy
• GIPHY
• The Reading Fangirl

Lesson #19: Stay Young at Heart

As we're getting older, we're also expected to start becoming more mature and grown-up. While I think it is important to start accepting the responsibilities in your life, I also think that it is just as important to remember to have fun. Staying young at heart is one of the best ways to achieve this; I believe that by choosing to do so, you keep a more positive outlook on life.

Many of the characters of Friends have also chosen to stay young at heart despite growing older. Here are some of my favorite examples of that:

1. The One With Rachel's Going Away Party

As Rachel is preparing to move to Paris for her job, Monica and Chandler are preparing to move out of the apartment and into their new home. Monica sends Ross to help Joey and Chandler pack up the guest bedroom where, upon entering, he finds the two of them having some fun with bubble wrap.

Monica walks in on them and demands to know what's going on, so Chandler tells her that they're taking a break. When she asks what exactly they are taking a break from, Chandler replies with "jumping on the bed."

2. The One Where Ross Moves In

When Ross loses the lease on his apartment, Joey and Chandler allow him to move in with them until he can find a new place. When he moves in, however, he brings all of his belongings with him in boxes, of which Joey promptly builds a fort. Later on in the episode, Chandler comes home to find Joey and Ross inside the fort, playing Cowboys and Indians.

3. The One With the Dollhouse

When Monica and Ross's Aunt Sylvia passes away, Monica inherits her dollhouse that she always wanted to play with as a child. Phoebe mentions to the gang that she never had a dollhouse to play with when she was a kid and so Monica tells her that she can play with hers. However, Monica quickly regrets this after deciding that she doesn't like the way that Phoebe plays with the dollhouse.

Phoebe, after realizing that she is "not welcome in the house of no imagination," decides to make her own dollhouse, equipped with a slide instead of stairs, a licorice room (where "you can eat all the furniture"), and an aroma room containing incense. Unfortunately, there is a fire which, according to Ross originated in the aroma room, and Phoebe's dollhouse burns down. Even worse yet, not everybody makes it out.

As you can see here, growing up doesn't mean that you have to stop being a kid. You can have just as much fun (if not more!) as an adult.

Media Courtesy of (in order of appearance):

• NBC via Netflix (gifs made using Giphy)
• grainnenewsie

Lesson #18: Your Sibling Is Your Best Friend

I have two little sisters who I am extremely blessed to have in my life. I can honestly say that they are two of my best friends in the world. We have always been there for each other through the highs and the lows and will continue to support each other with whatever life brings us. Being away from them this year has been, and I hate to admit this, a lot harder than I thought it would be. Because even though they can be extraordinarily frustrating to deal with sometimes, they are my sisters and I love them for better or for worse. I think that the bond between siblings is incredibly special because you really can't get rid of them. They know you better than anyone else and for many people, the relationship you have with your sibling(s) will be the longest relationship you have in your life.

So of course, for this life lesson I'd like to make the example of everyone's favorite sibling duo: Monica and Ross.

Monica and Ross definitely have their fair share of frustrations with each other, many of which come to a head during the 9th episode of the 6th season titled "The One Where Ross Got High." During the episode, Monica and Chandler plan to tell Monica's parents about their relationship but are hesitant because Jack and Judy don't like Chandler for some unknown reason. They soon learn, however, that the reason is because in college during spring break, Ross got high in his bedroom and when his parents caught him, he blamed it on Chandler. Monica insists that Ross tell them the truth, but he's reluctant to admit it was him.

When he refuses to come clean to his parents, Monica decides to tell them for him. And, well, some other truths decided to come out too. 

 

 

Despite their minor disagreements, Monica and Ross have a really strong (yet somewhat quirky) relationship. They have always been close with each other and as a result have many secrets and inside jokes between them. For example, Ross's way of giving Monica the finger that he made up to fool his parents.

There is also The Routine, which is a dance routine that Monica and Ross made up in middle school. According to Ross, it was so good that they got "honorable mention in the brother/sister dance category." When the siblings get invited to dance for Dick Clark's New Years Rockin' Eve, they decide to do The Routine in order to get the attention of the producer and be featured on the show. 

When it comes to TV brothers and sisters, there are few who can match up to Monica and Ross in terms of fights, pranks, and inside jokes. Throughout all of their antics, they really show the importance of having a good (even if somewhat dysfunctional) relationship with your sibling.

Media courtesy of (in order of appearance):

• It's Blast of the Past
• Head Over Feels
• Hardwood Paroxysm
• Giphy
• Shiraz In My Sippy Cup
• Pure Blood Paul

Lesson #17: Life Isn't Always About Competition

Don't get me wrong, I don't think that there's anything wrong with a little healthy competition. Actually, I think that a little competition can really motivate a person to do their best work or be the best that they can. However, there are times when being too competitive can be a bad thing. Winning shouldn't be the main focus in your life; sure, it's nice to win sometimes, but I think that being okay with losing every once in a while can help you grow as a person. It's important not to get too wrapped up in the competition but rather to just enjoy what you're doing.

Monica is by far the most competitive of the friends. In fact, she never misses the chance to turn something in to a competition or to show off her knowledge. She holds herself to a strict standard and does not settle for anything less.

For example, one Thanksgiving, the gang decides to play a friendly game of touch football during halftime. Ross and Monica initially decline the invitation due to the fact that their mother banned them from playing the sport. When questioned about it, Monica reveals that they used to play a game of football every Thanksgiving (which they named the Geller Bowl) and that "one year, Geller Bowl VI, [Monica] accidentally broke Ross's nose." Ross questions the accidental nature of the injury and accuses Monica of cheating to win the game. The two argue over this and eventually challenge each other to a rematch. 

As the game goes on, Monica and Ross continue to get more and more competitive until the rest of their friends go inside to enjoy their Thanksgiving dinner. Ross and Monica stay outside and fight over the football.

Another instance of Monica letting her competitive nature get the best of her is when she wagers her apartment in a bet with Chandler and Joey. The game starts out as a friendly bet when Chandler and Joey bet that they know Rachel and Monica better than the two women know them. They have Ross think up questions to ask them to determine who knows who best. 

When the game comes down to a tie, Ross announces that he's prepared for this and has come up with a lightning round. Monica decides to up the bet from the original $100 they were playing for to her apartment. When Rachel expresses her unwillingness to lose their apartment, Monica guarantees her that they won't. 

However, when it comes down to it, Monica and Rachel ultimately lose when they are unable to answer the question, "what is Chandler Bing's job?"

While Monica's competitive nature is a part of her personality and shapes the person that she is, it often gets her into trouble. I think that she would be better off if she stopped worrying so much about winning and took the time to just enjoy being with her friends. 

Media courtesy of (in order of appearance):

• Cosmopolitan
• NBC via Netflix
• Bustle
• the bump
• Personal gif created via Giphy
• Twitter

Lesson #16: You Can't Choose Your Family

I remember when I was living at home there were days when I just couldn't stand to be around my family. Whether it was my sisters "borrowing" my clothes without permission or my parents giving me another lecture, there were definitely quite a few times when I wished that I could have had more of a say in who my family was and how they acted. Being at school, however, has really shown me that even though we might not get along one hundred percent of the time, I am really grateful for every single member of my family and I wouldn't trade them for the world. My family is my support system; they love me no matter what and while they can potentially get frustrating at times, I am so lucky to have them.

Monica and Ross are two siblings that I think perfectly embody this lesson. Both Monica and Ross clearly have their faults, but at the end of the day, the two of them truly do love and support each other. However, that's not to say that they don't get on each other's nerves.

For example, as Monica and Chandler are preparing for their upcoming wedding, Ross announces to everyone that he has a surprise for them during the ceremony. When they hear someone playing the bagpipes loudly (and extremely badly) from across the street, they realize that Ross is planning on playing them a song at their wedding.

The couple confronts Ross about his "gift" and Monica tells him that he can't play the bagpipes at their wedding because, according to Chandler, they hate them. Ross begs them to give him a chance to change their minds, promising that "when it's over . . . there will be a wee bit o' Celebration."

(This scene also lead to some of the funniest Friends bloopers of all time.)

Monica and Chandler still ultimately refuse to have Ross perform at the wedding with a resounding "NO!", but although they were annoyed at Ross's antics, he was really only tying to be a loving brother to both of them.

Another pair of siblings who were often at odds during the majority of the series is Phoebe and her twin sister, Ursula.

Phoebe and her sister have a slightly harder time getting along than Monica and Ross, mostly because of how hostile Ursula acts towards Phoebe and the fact that Phoebe is still upset about the things that Ursula did to her as a child, like throwing her Judy Jetson thermos under a bus, breaking her collar bone, and stealing her first boyfriend. They carry their resentments toward each other into adulthood and, as a result, the two hardly see each other. 

Ursula seems to be every bit as odd as Phoebe, but that's about where the resemblance ends. While Phoebe is kind and sweet, Ursula is cold and manipulative. The two are polar opposites, and the few times that Ursula appears on the show it's usually to antagonize Phoebe in some way (like starring in adult films using Phoebe's name).  

So I guess the moral here is that whether you get along with them or not, your family is your family. You can't choose them, but you can choose your friends.

Media courtesy of (in order of appearance):

• Bustle
• And Believe it Best...
• YouTube
• Quora 

Lesson #15: Don't Let Your Anger Get the Best of You

Anger is a totally normal human emotion that everyone has experienced before. And as much as we don't like to admit it, we've all had moments in our lives where we have let our anger get the best of us. Much of the time, it seems that we let everything build up inside of us until we finally just blow up over something that really isn't worth getting so upset about. I have definitely been in situations like this where my anger has gotten the best of me, and I have always regretted it afterwards.

Out of all six of the friends, Ross definitely has the most difficult time managing his anger.

In his defense, he does have plenty to be angry about--his several divorces (including his impending one that is a result of him saying the wrong name at the altar), the fact that he just lost his apartment and had to move in with Chandler and Joey, and probably the most devastating of them all, that his boss ate his sandwich.

  

I know what you're thinking, it's just a sandwich. It can't have been that big of a deal, right? Wrong.

Because this sandwich wasn't just any regular sandwich. It was Monica's special Thanksgiving leftover sandwich. When Chandler tries to make light of the situation and point out that it was, after all, just a sandwich, Ross replies by telling everyone, "I am 30 years old, I'm about to be divorced twice and I just got evicted! That sandwich was the only good thing going on in my life! Someone ate the only good thing going on in my life!" Monica offers to make Ross another sandwich to take to work, and Phoebe writes a threatening note for him to put on his lunch so that nobody steals it again. However, this note is a little too threatening and causes people at work to become scared of him.

At work, Ross' boss Donald confronts him about his recent behavior, and Ross responds by telling him that he only had to get tough because someone ate his sandwich. As they talk, Donald reveals that he was the one who ate Ross' sandwich, and Ross doesn't exactly take it well. 

After yelling at his boss, they bring a psychiatrist into work to see Ross, who then tells him that he has to take a leave of absence from his job. Ross starts to get "worked up again" over this news, so the psychiatrist gives him a tranquilizer which calms Ross down substantially. 

Clearly, his sandwich isn't the only thing that Ross is upset about, but the way he chose to handle the situation ended up almost costing him his job completely. It's important not to hang on to anger because if you do, it can ultimately end up controlling you. 

Media courtesy of (in order of appearance):

• dcofibgs
• tumblr
• ELLE Australia
• Pinterest
• Comedy Central UK
• hitflix

Lesson #14: Never Hide Things From Your Friends

Never try to hide things from your friends, because they will find out eventually. Your friends are your support system, and while they may not agree with everything you choose to do, they will always be there for you when you need them.  I know for a fact that I would not be where I am today without the love and support of my friends throughout the years. I think that keeping secrets from anyone, especially the people you're close to, is extremely stressful. At least for me, I know I always feel much better when I have everything out in the open.

When Monica and Chandler first started seeing each other, they went to great lengths to keep their relationship a secret from their friends. After getting together at Ross's wedding, the two of them sneak around and make excuses for their behavior. For example, when Chandler accidentally kisses Monica in front of the group, he then goes around and kisses Rachel and Phoebe to try to cover it up.

They also lie about what they're doing in order to spend time together. In the beginning of their relationship, they tell their friends that they both have conferences for work that they have to attend over the weekend. They also sneak away together under the guise of "doing laundry." However, they only manage to keep their big secret for so long before the gang starts finding out. Joey is the first one to know when he realizes the two took a trip together.

Chandler and Monica swear Joey to secrecy, and he reluctantly agree. The couple continue to see each other in secret, but it's only a matter of time before Rachel finds out when she hears the two talking on the phone together. When she tries to subtly confront Monica and Monica denies having any new relationship in her life, Rachel decides to pretend that she doesn't know. Phoebe finds out about Chandler and Monica when she and Rachel go to check out Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and sees the two kissing from the window. 

When Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel get together to talk about the fact that they all know about Monica and Chandler's relationship, Phoebe suggests that they mess with them a little bit before they tell them that they know. Phoebe decides to try act like she's trying to seduce Chandler in an elaborate scheme that culminates in a standoff between Chandler and Phoebe to see which one will crack first.

The whole fiasco ends in Chanler admitting to everyone (including to Monica for the first time) that he is in love with Monica. Well, almost everyone, because Ross is the last one of the friends to find out about his best friend dating his sister. He finds out later that same episode in the same way that Phoebe found out, but maybe doesn't take it quite as well.

Although Ross is angry at first, he eventually cools off when Chandler explains that they're not just hooking up but that he really cares deeply for Monica. In the end, Chandler and Monica find that they're actually relieved to have their relationship in the open and that they don't have to sneak around anymore. They finally have the support of their friends and they are free to openly be with each other.

Media courtesy of (in order of appearance):

• The One With The Friends
• Oh No They Didn't!
• Pinterest
• Head Over Feels
• Bustle

Lesson #13: Maybe Valentine's Day Isn't So Bad?

Valentine's Day is one holiday that people love to hate. I've heard countless people say that it's an over-commercialized, Hallmark holiday that instead of focusing on love and relationships puts an emphasis on money and material objects. Shoot, I've even said some of those things. It seems like as soon as we hit February 1st we're bombarded by advertisements for romantic dates and heart-shaped diamond necklaces. Even worse, we see commercials attempting to console all of the "poor single people" by capitalizing on the feelings of loneliness Valentine's Day perpetuates (have you seen Dairy Queen's new Singles Blizzard?). But, if I'm being completely honest, maybe Valentine's Day isn't so bad. I mean, if you look past all of the commercialized pressure to get a date, it's really just a holiday that celebrates love, and couldn't we all use a little bit more love in our lives?

There have been a few Friends episodes that center around Valentine's Day, and although there are usually a few mishaps (bad dates, mistaken hookups, house fires), the core message is still there: you don't need romantic love to celebrate Valentine's Day. You just need some good friends by your side.

Take, for instance, the Valentine's Day that Joey spent alone, depressed, and wishing he could be with Rachel (whom he was in love with at the time). He was completely distraught over the fact that he couldn't be with the woman he loved on Valentine's Day and the likelihood that he would never get to be with her. 

Phoebe, in an attempt to help him get over Rachel, brings Joey "the happiest dog in the world" to cheer him up. Joey nicknames the dog Mozzarella and begins playing with him, but eventually ends up pouring out his feelings to the dog. 

Joey eventually tells Ross about his feelings for Rachel. Ross, although he is initially upset due to his past relationship with Rachel, tells Joey to go for it. He tells Joey that even if he feels weird about it, he cares more about their friendship and wants Joey to be happy.

Another example of non-traditional Valentine's love is the year that Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe decided to have a "boyfriend bonfire" in Monica's living room. As Monica and Rachel compare boyfriend horror stories and lament over the fact that they're "magnets" for jerks, Phoebe tells them about a cleansing ritual to break the bad boyfriend cycle. The three of them decide to burn mementos from past relationships on Valentine's Day the next night.

However, thinks go south when Rachel pours in the last of Paolo's grappa, which is highly flammable. The trio ends up having to call the fire department, who sends out three young, attractive firemen to help them. These firemen tell them that this isn't the first boyfriend bonfire they've seen go wrong and that Valentine's Day is actually their busiest day of the year.

This may not have been the end to the night that the girls were hoping for, but I think that it certainly proves that Valentine's Day doesn't completely suck. 

Images courtesy of (in order of appearance):

• Odyssey
• F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Screen Caps
• Head Over Feels
• Giphy via Netflix
• Playbuzz

Lesson #12: Karma's a ______

We've all heard the saying "what goes around comes around" (and we've all definitely heard JT's classic song about it). I personally am a firm believer karma; I think that every action has a consequence and that we should always try to be aware of that. I like to think of it as a credit/debit kind of thing: if you do good and put good energy out there, then you're sort of making a deposit into the universe and it'll pay you back. But, by the same token, if you're "bad", then you're withdrawing from the universe and you owe it a debt, and it will be sure to collect. I know that sounds pretty cheesy but I really do believe that things have a way of balancing themselves out in the end.

One of the absolute best illustrations of karma I can think of occurred in season 2 of Friends when Chandler is reunited with his fourth grade classmate Susie Moss on the set of a movie that she is doing hair and makeup for. The two begin to catch up and Susie reminds Chandler of the time during their fourth grade play when he lifted up her skirt in front of the whole auditorium (note: foreshadowing). Chandler nervously apologizes, saying that he used to use humor as a defense mechanism.

Chandler eventually asks Susie out to dinner and that night the two of them meet at his apartment beforehand. Before they leave for the restaurant, Susie asks Chandler if he's ever worn women's underwear and tells him it would be "kind of sexy" if he were to wear hers at dinner. Chandler agrees to do it and during dinner the two sneak off to the men's room. Susie tells Chandler to take off everything but the underwear and when he does so, she takes all of his clothes and runs out. When he asks her what's going on, she responds, "This is for the fourth grade."

She tells Chandler that kids called her "Susie Underpants" until she was 18 years old. When Chandler asks her how she could still be upset about something that happened in the fourth grade, she responds by telling him to call her in 20 years and tell her if he's still upset about this (coincidentally, that day was exactly one week ago from today).

Eventually Joey and Ross enter the bathroom to find Chandler hiding in a stall. Chandler asks them for help but eventually walks out using the stall door in an attempt to cover himself up. 

So, long story short folks, be aware of the actions you take and how they might affect others, because karma really can be a ______.

Images and video courtesy of (in order of appearance):

• NBC/via Netflix
• blackinfire
• mashable

Lesson #11: Perfection is Unattainable

I am somewhat of a perfectionist. I often find myself thinking that if something is not turning out exactly the way I think it should be, then it's not worth doing. However, as I am sure you are all aware, life is not perfect. Things certainly do not always go the way you think they should, and we often have to "settle for less." But I don't think that we should look at imperfection as "less." I'm slowly learning that imperfections are part of what makes life beautiful, because if everything was perfect then life would be boring.

As a notorious perfectionist, Monica Geller struggles daily with the thought of any type of shortcoming or inadequacy. She is the epitome of what we would label a "control freak": she keeps her apartment obsessively clean, is fiercely competitive, and expects nothing but the best from both herself and the people around her. 

While Monica is a perfectionist in all aspects of her life, she is particularly obsessive about cleaning. For example, she classifies places by cleanliness, where "Monica-clean" is even cleaner than "Health-Department-clean" (The One With the Male Nanny). She has 11 different categories of towels, including "everyday use," "guest," "fancy," and "fancy guest" (The One With the Embryos). She also once showed up at the messy apartment of a girl that Ross had been dating to clean it.

 

And, perhaps most impressively, she is so obsessively clean that she even cleans her cleaning supplies. She uses a DustBuster to remove dirt from her vacuum and expresses her regret that she doesn't have "a smaller [vacuum] to clean this one" (The One Where Chandler Gets Caught).

However, despite Monica's extreme cleanliness, even she cannot attain perfection. In The One With the Secret Closet, Chandler questions Monica about a closet in their apartment that is always kept locked. Monica tells him she keeps "private stuff" in the closet and asks him to let it go. However, Chandler is determined to find out what is in the closet and at the end of the episode resorts to removing the hinges from the door. This exposes a towering pile of junk that Monica has haphazardly thrown into the closet, revealing that Monica is not quite as clean as she would have everyone believe.

This scene just goes to show that if Monica and her intense, compulsive personality can't achieve perfection then maybe we should all learn to accept that there are just some things in our lives that won't always be the way we want them to be.

Images and video courtesy of (in order of appearance):

• Monica Geller Quotes
• Lilibeth
• Buzzfeed
• shabbygenteel