Lesson #14: Never Hide Things From Your Friends

Never try to hide things from your friends, because they will find out eventually. Your friends are your support system, and while they may not agree with everything you choose to do, they will always be there for you when you need them.  I know for a fact that I would not be where I am today without the love and support of my friends throughout the years. I think that keeping secrets from anyone, especially the people you're close to, is extremely stressful. At least for me, I know I always feel much better when I have everything out in the open.

When Monica and Chandler first started seeing each other, they went to great lengths to keep their relationship a secret from their friends. After getting together at Ross's wedding, the two of them sneak around and make excuses for their behavior. For example, when Chandler accidentally kisses Monica in front of the group, he then goes around and kisses Rachel and Phoebe to try to cover it up.

They also lie about what they're doing in order to spend time together. In the beginning of their relationship, they tell their friends that they both have conferences for work that they have to attend over the weekend. They also sneak away together under the guise of "doing laundry." However, they only manage to keep their big secret for so long before the gang starts finding out. Joey is the first one to know when he realizes the two took a trip together.

Chandler and Monica swear Joey to secrecy, and he reluctantly agree. The couple continue to see each other in secret, but it's only a matter of time before Rachel finds out when she hears the two talking on the phone together. When she tries to subtly confront Monica and Monica denies having any new relationship in her life, Rachel decides to pretend that she doesn't know. Phoebe finds out about Chandler and Monica when she and Rachel go to check out Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and sees the two kissing from the window. 

When Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel get together to talk about the fact that they all know about Monica and Chandler's relationship, Phoebe suggests that they mess with them a little bit before they tell them that they know. Phoebe decides to try act like she's trying to seduce Chandler in an elaborate scheme that culminates in a standoff between Chandler and Phoebe to see which one will crack first.

The whole fiasco ends in Chanler admitting to everyone (including to Monica for the first time) that he is in love with Monica. Well, almost everyone, because Ross is the last one of the friends to find out about his best friend dating his sister. He finds out later that same episode in the same way that Phoebe found out, but maybe doesn't take it quite as well.

Although Ross is angry at first, he eventually cools off when Chandler explains that they're not just hooking up but that he really cares deeply for Monica. In the end, Chandler and Monica find that they're actually relieved to have their relationship in the open and that they don't have to sneak around anymore. They finally have the support of their friends and they are free to openly be with each other.

Media courtesy of (in order of appearance):

• The One With The Friends
• Oh No They Didn't!
• Pinterest
• Head Over Feels
• Bustle

Lesson #13: Maybe Valentine's Day Isn't So Bad?

Valentine's Day is one holiday that people love to hate. I've heard countless people say that it's an over-commercialized, Hallmark holiday that instead of focusing on love and relationships puts an emphasis on money and material objects. Shoot, I've even said some of those things. It seems like as soon as we hit February 1st we're bombarded by advertisements for romantic dates and heart-shaped diamond necklaces. Even worse, we see commercials attempting to console all of the "poor single people" by capitalizing on the feelings of loneliness Valentine's Day perpetuates (have you seen Dairy Queen's new Singles Blizzard?). But, if I'm being completely honest, maybe Valentine's Day isn't so bad. I mean, if you look past all of the commercialized pressure to get a date, it's really just a holiday that celebrates love, and couldn't we all use a little bit more love in our lives?

There have been a few Friends episodes that center around Valentine's Day, and although there are usually a few mishaps (bad dates, mistaken hookups, house fires), the core message is still there: you don't need romantic love to celebrate Valentine's Day. You just need some good friends by your side.

Take, for instance, the Valentine's Day that Joey spent alone, depressed, and wishing he could be with Rachel (whom he was in love with at the time). He was completely distraught over the fact that he couldn't be with the woman he loved on Valentine's Day and the likelihood that he would never get to be with her. 

Phoebe, in an attempt to help him get over Rachel, brings Joey "the happiest dog in the world" to cheer him up. Joey nicknames the dog Mozzarella and begins playing with him, but eventually ends up pouring out his feelings to the dog. 

Joey eventually tells Ross about his feelings for Rachel. Ross, although he is initially upset due to his past relationship with Rachel, tells Joey to go for it. He tells Joey that even if he feels weird about it, he cares more about their friendship and wants Joey to be happy.

Another example of non-traditional Valentine's love is the year that Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe decided to have a "boyfriend bonfire" in Monica's living room. As Monica and Rachel compare boyfriend horror stories and lament over the fact that they're "magnets" for jerks, Phoebe tells them about a cleansing ritual to break the bad boyfriend cycle. The three of them decide to burn mementos from past relationships on Valentine's Day the next night.

However, thinks go south when Rachel pours in the last of Paolo's grappa, which is highly flammable. The trio ends up having to call the fire department, who sends out three young, attractive firemen to help them. These firemen tell them that this isn't the first boyfriend bonfire they've seen go wrong and that Valentine's Day is actually their busiest day of the year.

This may not have been the end to the night that the girls were hoping for, but I think that it certainly proves that Valentine's Day doesn't completely suck. 

Images courtesy of (in order of appearance):

• Odyssey
• F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Screen Caps
• Head Over Feels
• Giphy via Netflix
• Playbuzz

Lesson #12: Karma's a ______

We've all heard the saying "what goes around comes around" (and we've all definitely heard JT's classic song about it). I personally am a firm believer karma; I think that every action has a consequence and that we should always try to be aware of that. I like to think of it as a credit/debit kind of thing: if you do good and put good energy out there, then you're sort of making a deposit into the universe and it'll pay you back. But, by the same token, if you're "bad", then you're withdrawing from the universe and you owe it a debt, and it will be sure to collect. I know that sounds pretty cheesy but I really do believe that things have a way of balancing themselves out in the end.

One of the absolute best illustrations of karma I can think of occurred in season 2 of Friends when Chandler is reunited with his fourth grade classmate Susie Moss on the set of a movie that she is doing hair and makeup for. The two begin to catch up and Susie reminds Chandler of the time during their fourth grade play when he lifted up her skirt in front of the whole auditorium (note: foreshadowing). Chandler nervously apologizes, saying that he used to use humor as a defense mechanism.

Chandler eventually asks Susie out to dinner and that night the two of them meet at his apartment beforehand. Before they leave for the restaurant, Susie asks Chandler if he's ever worn women's underwear and tells him it would be "kind of sexy" if he were to wear hers at dinner. Chandler agrees to do it and during dinner the two sneak off to the men's room. Susie tells Chandler to take off everything but the underwear and when he does so, she takes all of his clothes and runs out. When he asks her what's going on, she responds, "This is for the fourth grade."

She tells Chandler that kids called her "Susie Underpants" until she was 18 years old. When Chandler asks her how she could still be upset about something that happened in the fourth grade, she responds by telling him to call her in 20 years and tell her if he's still upset about this (coincidentally, that day was exactly one week ago from today).

Eventually Joey and Ross enter the bathroom to find Chandler hiding in a stall. Chandler asks them for help but eventually walks out using the stall door in an attempt to cover himself up. 

So, long story short folks, be aware of the actions you take and how they might affect others, because karma really can be a ______.

Images and video courtesy of (in order of appearance):

• NBC/via Netflix
• blackinfire
• mashable

Lesson #11: Perfection is Unattainable

I am somewhat of a perfectionist. I often find myself thinking that if something is not turning out exactly the way I think it should be, then it's not worth doing. However, as I am sure you are all aware, life is not perfect. Things certainly do not always go the way you think they should, and we often have to "settle for less." But I don't think that we should look at imperfection as "less." I'm slowly learning that imperfections are part of what makes life beautiful, because if everything was perfect then life would be boring.

As a notorious perfectionist, Monica Geller struggles daily with the thought of any type of shortcoming or inadequacy. She is the epitome of what we would label a "control freak": she keeps her apartment obsessively clean, is fiercely competitive, and expects nothing but the best from both herself and the people around her. 

While Monica is a perfectionist in all aspects of her life, she is particularly obsessive about cleaning. For example, she classifies places by cleanliness, where "Monica-clean" is even cleaner than "Health-Department-clean" (The One With the Male Nanny). She has 11 different categories of towels, including "everyday use," "guest," "fancy," and "fancy guest" (The One With the Embryos). She also once showed up at the messy apartment of a girl that Ross had been dating to clean it.

 

And, perhaps most impressively, she is so obsessively clean that she even cleans her cleaning supplies. She uses a DustBuster to remove dirt from her vacuum and expresses her regret that she doesn't have "a smaller [vacuum] to clean this one" (The One Where Chandler Gets Caught).

However, despite Monica's extreme cleanliness, even she cannot attain perfection. In The One With the Secret Closet, Chandler questions Monica about a closet in their apartment that is always kept locked. Monica tells him she keeps "private stuff" in the closet and asks him to let it go. However, Chandler is determined to find out what is in the closet and at the end of the episode resorts to removing the hinges from the door. This exposes a towering pile of junk that Monica has haphazardly thrown into the closet, revealing that Monica is not quite as clean as she would have everyone believe.

This scene just goes to show that if Monica and her intense, compulsive personality can't achieve perfection then maybe we should all learn to accept that there are just some things in our lives that won't always be the way we want them to be.

Images and video courtesy of (in order of appearance):

• Monica Geller Quotes
• Lilibeth
• Buzzfeed
• shabbygenteel

Lesson #10: Listen to Your Parents

Like most people my age, I have certainly had my fair share of arguments with my parents. However, as painful as it is for me to admit, they almost always turn out to be right in the end. I'm beginning to make my peace with it but I'll be honest, that doesn't stop me from occasionally trying to prove to my mother that she might be wrong every great once in a while (spoiler alert: still hasn't happened). To her credit, she has never failed to be there for me when I suffer the consequences of not listening to her, though not without a brief lecture about how "your mother is always right!" I'll take it though, because my mom has taught me so many invaluable lessons that I'll carry with me throughout my life. Sure, I learned some of them the hard way, but I'll be forever thankful to my mother for guiding me through it.

So, with this in mind, I'd like to share with you some lessons that we can all learn from the parents of Friends:

Don't be afraid to shake things up ~ Jack Geller

Jack Geller (Ross and Monica's dad) is probably my favorite parent on the show, mainly due to the fact that he says the most outrageous things without even realizing it. One of my favorite Jack Geller moments is when he tells Monica, in the wake of her grandmother's death, that when his time comes, he'd like to be buried at sea.

Maybe Jack has a point here, although I certainly don't think you have to wait until you die to change things up. 

Be your most authentic self ~ Charles Bing/Helena Handbasket

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the show, Chandler's parents divorced when he was 9 after his father came out as gay. Since then, he became a drag queen and joined an all-male burlesque show called "Viva Las Gaygas." 

Although Chandler wasn't exactly on board with his father's lifestyle, Charles never compromised himself and continued to live the life he loved. While Chandler and his father didn't get along for a while, they eventually make up with each other and as you can see in the clip above, Charles agrees to go to Chandler and Monica's wedding. 

Be with someone who makes you happy ~ Sandra Green

When we first meet Rachel's mom, she displays a lot of the characteristics we first saw in Rachel at the beginning of the show (spoiled, lofty, dependent on others). However, she soon announces to Rachel that she's considering leaving her husband. After seeing Rachel leading such an independent, happy life, Sandra realized that she was unhappy with her own.

Rachel's mom shows us that it's never too late to make a change and that you should never compromise your own happiness for things like financial security or luxury. You deserve to be with someone you love, and even if it takes you a little longer to realize that, you still have the right to decide for yourself what is best for you. 

With Thanksgiving coming up next week, I think that we should all try to set some time aside to really thank our parents for everything that they've done for us. Whether we'd like to admit it or not, they have a lot of wisdom to offer us and I know that personally I wouldn't be where I am today without the guidance of my two biggest supporters. 

Images and video courtesy of (in order of appearance):

• Bustle
• PureBloodPaul
• Netflix

Lesson #9: Never Let an Opportunity Pass You By

As a college student, I find that opportunities tend to present themselves left and right, you just have to keep your eyes open for them. There is pretty much a club for anything you can think of that interests you, and if you can't find specifically what you're looking for, you always have the option to make it happen yourself. There are also countless internships and research opportunities available for students pursuing all kinds of career paths. The only hard part is seizing the moment and taking advantage of that opportunity.

There are then, of course, the once in a lifetime opportunities that you just so happen to stumble upon by chance. One of those such opportunities might be, for example, being "locked in an ATM vestibule with Jill. Goodacre."

Chandler finds himself presented with this very opportunity during a blackout in New York City. When he discovers that the blackout has caused the doors to lock from the inside, he turns around to complain to the woman trapped there with him, only to realize that it's Victoria Secret model Jill Goodacre. 

In a true testament to his own awkwardness, Chandler spends the first fourteen minutes of his time having an inner monologue with himself, thinking of something to say to her. Jill finally breaks the ice and asks if he'd like to use her cell phone to call someone. Chandler calls Joey and alerts him to the fact that he has been presented with this once in a lifetime opportunity. After he hangs up, Jill offers him a piece of gum. His response?

Clearly Chandler has never been in this type of situation before (or perhaps any situation that was one-on-one with a woman), but he is determined to take advantage of this opportunity. He decides to impress her by blowing a bubble, something that he thinks has a "boyish charm" to it. However, he accidentally spits the gum out instead of blowing a bubble. In an attempt to recover, he quickly shoves the piece of gum back in his mouth, only to realize that it's not his gum. He subsequently begins to choke on it.

Now I know what you're thinking. Chandler has definitely blown this crazy, once in a lifetime chance to impress this model. His awkwardness has definitely gotten the best of him here, and he's just going to have to let this one go, right? I mean, if you're like me, you kind of lost hope after the whole "gum would be perfection" thing anyway. But maybe Chandler can still salvage this.

Jill rushes to his aid and performs the Heimlich on him. He tries to thank her, saying "That was... That was..." She smiles at him and offers, "...Perfection?" Chandler's luck takes a turn here and by the end of the episode, he and Jill are talking and joking around with each other. When the power finally comes back on, Jill tells Chandler that she "had a great blackout" with him and kisses him on the cheek. The episode ends with Chandler looking up at the security camera in the vestibule and asking for a copy of the tape.

So, Chandler didn't end up blowing his opportunity after all! It might have taken him some time to get things going, but in the end I'd say he has a pretty successful blackout after all.

Images and video courtesy of (in order of appearance):

• Huffington Post
• Friends Season 1
• hellowonderland
• Buzzfeed
• Head Over Feels

Lesson #8: Don't Be Afraid to Try New Things

I'm someone who loves to discover new things; I'll try anything once. I think that entering into college this year has been so much fun for me for that very reason--I've already had so many opportunities to try new things. I've met new people, made new friends, and become involved in several organizations on campus, just to name a few. This semester has really pushed me out of my comfort zone, and I'm so grateful for that. I think that amazing things can happen to you when you branch out from what you're familiar with and try something different. It can be a little scary, but sometimes the coolest things in life are the things you haven't tried yet!

A great example of someone who really stepped out of his comfort zone and tried something new is Chandler. For the first eight seasons of the series, Chandler works in an office at un unspecified company, first as a Data Processor. He clearly despises this job and decides to quit during the first season when his boss offers him a promotion. His reasoning is that if he were to take the promotion, "it would be like admitting that's actually what I do." However, his boss calls to offer him a generous raise and Chandler eventually agrees to take the job as Processing Supervisor. He keeps this job for the next seven years, although it is a running joke on the show that no one actually knows what Chandler does.

When Chanler's job transfers him to Tulsa and requires him to spend Christmas there, he figures out that he would rather be spending time with his wife and friends, so he decides to quit for good. However, this presents him with a serious challenge as he "doesn't know what to do with [his] life anymore." Monica helps him consider possible career choices and he decides that he wants to pursue a job in advertising, something that he's never done before. He ends up having a real talent for it and becomes a Junior Advertising Copywriter.

Because of his willingness to step outside of his comfort zone and try something new, Chandler was able to find a job that he was passionate about and actually enjoyed doing.

However, as we learned last week, things don't always work out for the best, but that doesn't mean you still shouldn't try them! Sometimes you have to risk failure in order to discover something amazing. That being said, sometimes all you discover is that you should never try to make a trifle ever, ever again.

 

In another Thanksgiving-themed example, Rachel decides to do something that she doesn't often attempt: cook. For Thanksgiving dinner, she tells everyone that she's going to be in charge of making the desert, an english trifle that she found the recipe for in a magazine. However, two of the magazine pages stick together and she ends up making half of a trifle and half of a shepherd's pie.

Her friends are gracious about it and eat the trifle anyway, but Rachel eventually learns that the dessert, in the words of Ross, "tastes like feet." 

Even though it might not always be a success, I still really believe that it's important to try new things. You may not get the result that you were looking for, but I can guarantee that you by branching out, you will always learn something about yourself, whether it's your talent for coming up with advertising slogans for everyday objects or your inability to make a trifle.

Media courtesy of (in order of appearance):

• Transponsters
• Ashley Nichole
• Bustle.com
• TBS