Lesson #3: Everyone Has a Lobster

I just want to preface this post by saying that I am not, by any means, an expert in love or relationships. Being 18 years old, I'm still trying to figure things out myself and that means I'm not really in a position to give out advice. I think that in the grand scheme of love and relationships there's a lot of uncertainty, but one thing that I have absolutely no doubts about is the fact that everyone has a lobster out there.

Okay, I realize I may have lost some people already. This should clear things up.

So basically your lobster is your soulmate. I'm a firm believer that everyone has one, it's just a matter of finding them.

1. Ross and Rachel (Duh)

So if you know anything about friends, you know that the Ross and Rachel story is pretty much a central theme throughout the entirety of the series. Ross has had a crush on Rachel ever since she and Monica were friends in high school. The extent of his feelings for her is made known in the episode The One with the Prom Video, and this is where we see them officially get together.

They date for a little while until about halfway through season 3 when Rachel suggests they "take a break" and well, you know the rest. They spend the rest of the series in an on-again-off-again sort of relationship. They both date other people as well as get back together for brief periods, like to drunkenly get married in Vegas,

and to have a baby together,

before they FINALLY get back together for good in the iconic series finale, where Rachel gets off the plane.

Although Ross and Rachel's relationship was never perfect, and it took them TEN seasons to realize that they were really meant to be, they found each other in the end, and that's what having a lobster is all about.

2. Chandler and Monica

Chandler and Monica were a couple that no one saw coming but made complete sense once they got together. They had both been in serious, long-term relationships before discovering that their lobster was right under their nose. What started out as a drunken hookup in London during the weekend of Ross' (second) wedding bloomed into a beautiful relationship that I would appropriately describe as #goals.

Although Chandler and Monica had known each other for years (Chandler was Ross' roommate in college), they didn't get together until the end of season 4. While you might be thinking that seems like a questionable amount of time for two people to realize that their soulmates, I think that part of the reason that Chandler and Monica worked so well together is because they had such a solid foundation together as friends.

3. Phoebe and Mike

Phoebe is the only friend we see to look outside the group for true love. She meets Mike on a blind date that Joey sets her up on, and the rest is history. Although they don't meet until season 9, they instantly click with each other; Mike turns out to be just as quirky and odd as Phoebe, just maybe in a more muted sort of way.

Phoebe and Mike date for about the course of a year until they get married in the last season and have the most beautiful, spontaneous wedding where they've written their own vows, which pretty much sum up their relationship perfectly.

Lesson #2: Plan Ahead (Things We Can All Learn From Ross)

So this week has pretty much been the week from hell. At least for me anyway. I've had two tests, three papers due, online assignments, and then, on top of all that, the regular amount of homework/studying I would have on any given week. Needless to say, things have been a little hectic the past few days, and I know that a lot of other people are in similar situations. So now, here I am, trying to finish up a blog post at 12:00 am, wondering how I got here. And while I keep trying to tell myself that it's because I had more work this week than I could possibly get done in a timely manner, I know deep down that I probably could have planned ahead a little bit better.

So why am I choosing to focus on Ross for this life lesson? Well, probably because Ross is the literal embodiment of what can happen to you when you fail to plan ahead. From ripped couches to bad fake tans, Ross has seen it all and still manages to keep going.

1. The One with the Cop

This is hands-down the best example I can think of to illustrate this point, and probably one of the most iconic moment in the show's history. Yup, you guessed it, I'm talking about the "PIVOT" scene.

In this episode, Ross buys a new couch for his apartment. In true Ross-fashion, however, he decides that the cost of having it delivered is too expensive and that he could simply do it himself. After enlisting the help of Rachel and Chandler, the friends realize that the couch is too big to fit up the stairs, and they find themselves at a stand-still. The episode ends with Ross attempting to return the couch, now split in half, to the furniture store from which he bought it. He is offered $4 in store credit and happily accepts.

2. The One with All the Resolutions
Another golden Ross moment. This episode starts out at a New Year's Eve party at Monica's apartment. After the party ends, Ross suggests that they all make New Year's resolutions; for his resolution, he decides to try to do one thing every day that he has never done before. For one of his "new things" Ross buys a pair of leather pants which he then wears on a date. However, the pants prove to be pretty uncomfortably hot, so he goes to the bathroom to take them off and cool down. Then, well, this happens.

3. The One with Ross's Tan

After becoming jealous of Monica's spray tan, Ross decides to go and get one himself. He goes in to the tanning booth not fully understanding the process, and ends up becoming an "eight." He then attempts to get it evened out at another tanning salon but decides that he doesn't need to hear the instructions again, and ultimately makes things worse for himself.

Although these are just three examples out of many of Ross's failure to plan ahead, I think we can learn a lot here. It's important to keep the consequences of your actions in mind when you're making a decision, and make sure you know exactly what you're getting into before you do. But just know that even if you make a mistake, your friends will always be there for you to pick you back up (but maybe not before making fun of you just a little bit).

Lesson #1: Your Past Doesn't Determine Your Future

As a freshman, one of the things I found most appealing about college was the whole "blank slate" thing. Here, at a large university, no one really cares who you were in high school or who you hung out with or what you did. But the truth is, you don't have to wait for some major event to come along and give you a fresh start. Sometimes it helps, but ultimately your life is not pre-written; you can choose when to close one chapter and start a new one. Because if I've learned one thing from my many years of being a Friends enthusiast, it's that you can always start over. Your past doesn't determine your future.

I'm sure we all remember the iconic pilot episode of Friends (appropriately titled "The Pilot"). If you're a little rusty on your Friends trivia, let me lay it out for you. Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Chandler are hanging out at a coffee shop, reflecting on Ross's impending divorce, when in walks Rachel, an old high school friend of Monica's, who's just left her fiancé at the altar.

In the following scene that foreshadows much of Rachel's character development throughout the series, Rachel stands in the kitchen of Monica's apartment and talks to her father on the phone. Her father is angry with her and wants her to return to the wedding, but Rachel tries to make him understand why she can't.

With this somewhat confusing metaphor, Rachel tells her father that she doesn't want the life that everyone else has chosen for her; she wants to decide for herself. In response her father cuts her off, and so begins this spoiled rich-girl's journey from daddy's little princess to a successful, independent woman.

Having previously relied on her parents for financial support for all her life with her only goal to marry rich, Rachel finds herself faced with the difficult task of having to reinvent herself. Monica welcomes her into her home, allowing Rachel to stay with her while she attempts to reorganize her life. Rachel manages to find a job at the Central Perk coffee shop and begins to learn the valuable lesson of supporting herself as an adult.

In this episode, Rachel is a prime example that your future isn't set in stone; you can choose your own path, regardless of the one you're already on. In the span of one episode, Rachel goes from someone who has always had everything handed to her on a silver platter, to someone who really has to work for what she has. But in the words of Monica, "this is probably for the best, you know? Independence, taking control of your life". Rachel is finally free to decide things for herself, regardless of what things have been like for her in the past. Walking away from her privileged life was probably the hardest things Rachel had ever had to do, but she did it. She chose to become a new person and carve out her own niche in the world.